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I never realized how much “like attracts like” in that I am often surrounded by people who are similarly skilled at conversing.Whether through choice of school programs and extracurricular activities in college (I was a public relations major and I was in a sorority, both of which required a certain level of communications skills), or fields of work post-graduation (I work in nonprofits which tend to not only attract a wide variety of employees, but also a very diverse clientele), I’ve mostly always been around people who are pretty decent at holding a conversation. Trying to talk to men on dating apps is so horrifically painful.Also, don’t assume you’re the only one who should ask questions…allow your date to ask questions as well!
Finally, don’t get so obsessed with asking a list of specific questions that you end up putting you’re dating on an “interview”. If it never finds a life of its own then at the very least mix things up so there are some serious questions and some light-hearted ones. If you are serious about finding a relationship you need to decide what’s important to you and base your questions, at least in part, on these areas.
There is no need to get sexual within the first few messages.
Exhibit A: In this instance, the guy I matched with had kind of a vague bio compared to what I am normally interested in, but at least he wrote SOMETHING, and his photos were alright so I gave him a shot ……I HATE this “just ask” mentality.
If someone reaches out, and you are interested in talking to them, talk to them!
Be happy you got a unique opener and try to send them something unique in response, or at least ask them something about their profile.
Second, you’re not going to want to ask questions that can simply be answered with a “yes” or a “no” if you’re concerned with keeping the conversation going.