Other rules for dating in college
Yes, the prom as we knew it still exists, but even its drama pales in comparison to today’s boy-girl relationship issues.“It’s not your parents’ dating anymore,” concedes Robin Gurwitch, a clinical psychologist at the Duke Center for Child and Family Health.“We don’t have the vocabulary and we don’t have the experiences to be able to help.We’re learning this at the same time our children are navigating through it.” What follows is a teen dating primer to help your child — and you — forge the valley between child and young adult.On the other hand, she adds, “if you’re really dating, at some point you absolutely do want your parents to meet him.” Your teen doesn’t have to be dating or talking to anyone to have a date to the prom, winter formal or Sadie Hawkins dance.That’s because most kids go in large groups and are couples in name only.What to watch for: It’s time to have the “values and expectations” talk if you haven’t already.
“To a child or teenager who is experiencing this, it is very real and very important,” she says.
For high schoolers, it can mean that, too, but usually refers to making out at parties or get-togethers.
Kids hook up with people they’ve just met, casual acquaintances and even friends. Jennifer, when asked if hooking up with a guy meant a girl had a crush on him, says dismissively, “Nope.” And Megan concurs: “It would seem very strange to me that a girl would think there’s something there” after a hookup.
Of course, kids who already have relationships — and even some still in the talking phase — will go with that special person, but still as part of a group. If that’s the case, the only thing you can do is offer support and perhaps plan a trip or outing for that night.
To college students, hooking up means having casual sex.
Broken hearts after a breakup are real, too, and just as with adults, there’s no timetable for recovery.