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“You know what you’re attracted to, you know what you’re interested in; it’s tough for someone else to make those decisions for you.” As the gig economy creates increasing expectation for intensely customizable and immediately accessible services — from ride sharing to grocery delivery — questions about the usefulness of a standardized matchmaking system that involve less input on the part of the user continue to emerge.And while Saw You At Sinai and its affiliates are traditional in their commitment to the importance of the matchmaker, their payment model — based on couples paying matchmakers directly upon a successful engagement — hews neatly to a model similar to Uber and other on-demand direct service companies.(Saw You At Sinai matchmakers are not employees of the company with regular salaries, but are paid directly by clients only when they arrange a marriage; ,000 is a standard fee.) As the gig economy creates increasing expectation for intensely customizable and immediately accessible services — from ride sharing to grocery delivery — questions about the usefulness of a standardized matchmaking system that involve less input on the part of the user continue to emerge.In contrast, Avitan charges his clients for consultation not based on success but by the hour.“A single person looking for marriage is already limited by relying on others to help him or her out,” Ackerman told The Jewish Week via email.
In contrast to what she characterizes as “environment of wandering,” created by apps in which daters keep seeking a more perfect person in an endless sea of possibilities and never allow a relationship to develop, a shadchan helps encourage communication and compromise to help a couple build a rapport.
You have the human touch, not a nice person from Washington Heights, Teaneck or the Five Towns but your OU-JLIC educator.” Yoel Ackerman, who has just launched a Facebook group called “Frum Shidduch Resumes,” believes that since matchmakers are typically paid, “oftentimes, the shadchan might only have his or her own best interest in mind and is simply trying to marry you off quick without realizing that the match might not even be a good one.” Ackerman started the Facebook group in order to “to simplify the shidduch process and make it easier for Orthodox singles to date by breaking down some of the barriers that they might face.” A project begun in memory of Ackerman’s father, the group’s rules state that those looking to date for marriage should post their “shidduch resume” and only that.
Group members can reach out to each other directly if they are interested in what they see, or can ask a group administrator to reach out to someone they are interested in to see if there is a mutual spark.
“We hope that students see this as another way we want to look out for them, and be involved in their lives.” OU-JLIConnections, which operates on 21 college campuses and serves nearly 4,500 students a year, was started at the initiative of Rabbi Reuven and Shira Boshnack, the OU-JLIC educators at Brooklyn College.
When asked what this platform adds to existing options, Rabbi Boshnack emphasized “the personal touch.” He explained that “so much of the OU-JLIC programming is relationship-driven.
Weinberg laments that websites and apps have to a significant degree taken the place of singles events that allowed people to “meet interactively” and build relationships based less on initial attraction.